Jay tackles weighty issues, reaches back for improved attitude and climbs to higher altitude
Jay is a 45 y.o. married man who has struggled with body image, self-esteem and addiction issues for years. He sought treatment with me due to acute marital stress, isolation, procrastination/avoidance, poor concentration, weight issues, problems with an authoritarian boss and financial stress. Jay needed an eclectic approach to change old patterns and therefore I utilized both psychotherapy, e.g., Neurolinguistics Programming, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Positive Psychology and life coaching modalities to help him reach his goals.
First, Jay needed an injection of hope. I encouraged Jay to recall his high school football days when he received praises for his "offensive" brand of defense and to tap into this mindset by using his coach's thumbs up as an anchor when he needed a confidence booster.
Second, Jay needed to establish an offensive game plan to tackle his current goals and to take on his adversaries. As an integral part of this plan, Jay surrounded himself with a supportive team to help work through his issues. He reached out to friends from high school, a brother and sister-in-law and began to set boundaries with his wife and boss. In fact, Jay put his abusive, alcoholic wife and crass, controlling boss on notice that he would no longer be tolerating personal attacks and that unless he was treated with the respect and dignity he deserved he would be ending his marriage and employment. He began to communicate his needs and feelings on a regular basis and no longer "swallowed" his anger and frustration.
Third, Jay develop a time management system to aide him in planning, prioritizing and organizing on a weekly and monthly basis.
Fourth, I encouraged Jay to establish as many positive habits as possible and eliminate some of his negative habits. For example, he began to go on mindful, hour long hikes engaging his senses, a ritual that improved both his cardiovascular stamina and focus. As part of his new regimen, Jay eliminated unhealthy food choices which included pizza and potato chips and stopped smoking with the help of the patch and pals.
Fifth, to protect himself and his future, this writer suggested that Jay begin a job search by informing his best customers and venders confidentially that he was looking for another opportunity. With the encouragement from his loyal customers, Jay felt confident enough to venture out and take advantage of his college alumni network, trade publications and career sites.
Sixth, this writer encouraged Jay to work on his social skills by taking small social risks and journaling about positive interactions he was having and identifying any specific tactics that were work well for him. For instance, probing colleagues about interests outside of work. With a more positive frame of mind and specific ideas about what he was doing well, Jay was able to get one of his colleagues, who shared Jay's passion for football, to watch a Patriots-Giants game together.
Finally, Jay landed two interviews within a month's time from the beginning of his job search and thoroughly prepared for these meetings via mock interviewing with this writer, reading his potential employer's annual and quarterly reports and completing an analysis of the companies' competition. Jay received job offers from both companies and accepted a Vice President, Sales Management role, after negotiating a $75,000 salary increase plus a commission package of 25% of net profit. Feeling full of himself, Jay closed the deal with his wife by asking for a divorce after she refused marital counseling and was unable to stop her emotional and verbal abuse. Along with letting go of this baggage, Jay dropped 30 pounds and adopted a new outlook.