Young adult female returns to college with a more positive mind framed, a leg up on social anxiety and armed with mindfulness strategies
Shayla, a 19-year-old college student was referred to me by her mother because Shayla had been feeling down, lacking motivation, lacking self-confidence, suffering from panic attacks, constantly worrying and feeling lonely and isolated since returning home for summer break. It quickly became apparent that Shayla had poor self-esteem and was self-critical despite the fact that she had "plenty of material" with which to work. Based on my assessment which incorporated psychologist David Burns' Depression and Anxiety Inventory, Shayla not only suffered from moderate depression but also social anxiety based on a feeling of awkwardness and self-consciousness in social situations. To exaggerate her isolation Shayla suffered through a break up with boyfriend recently, someone who she considered her best friend and to whom she had dedicated the majority of her time. Aggravating the situation, Shayla's ex-boyfriend is now dating Shayla's close friend and former college roommate. Shayla even felt alone at home because her mother was not empathic or sensitive to her struggles: "you have my brains and good looks... it is all in your head."
First of all, this writer explained to Shayla that she had plenty of gifts and that she needed to work on accepting her strengths: she was highly intelligent, has sharp sense of humor, excels academically, is an avid reader and is an extremely creative artist.
Because Shayla devalues her small victories or accomplishments, this writer assigned her the task of counting her small wins on a daily basis.
Drawing from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I asked her how she sees the world or what her paradigm looks like. She remarked that the world is "scary and mean."
I helped her identify her cognitive distortions and also provided her strategies to reframe her negative thoughts, e.g., examining the evidence and double standard technique via imaging a girlfriend grappling with the same issue(s) and in what way she would advise her.
Shayla took small, gradual steps out of hibernation and into society by asking a female friend whom she hadn't seen in two months to go for a short walk. Shayla and I agreed that going for a walk with a friend would literally be a good first step, e.g., work through some of her anxiety and restlessness via physical activity and reestablish rapport with her friend without having to worry about making eye contact.
Subsequent to the walks, Shayla graduated to sitting and having coffee with a friend, taking a yoga class with two friends and making small talk to others in class while stretching. Finally, Shayla was able to lunch with three friends. Shayla took advantage of three strategies for the group interaction: (1) journal about her positive interactions to give her a leg up going into the luncheon, (2) show up early at the luncheon and have one-to-one dialogues with participants beforehand and (3) remind herself of the positive remarks she had received from these women in the past.
Finally, I provided two other coping strategies that Shayla could bring with her to college for her ruminative and racing thoughts: belly breathing exercises and various mindfulness strategies such as mindful walking and armed her with a mindfulness book "Wherever You Go There You Are" by Jon Kabit Zinn.